1984 Instant Camera Phone Prototype

14 Photography Jokes to Wrap 2014

1. How many photographers does it take to change a light bulb?
   50. One to change the bulb and forty nine to say “I could have done that!”
2. How many photographers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
   Only one. However, it takes two editors and three reporters to decide if the bulb should be turned clockwise or counter clockwise or just shoved in.
3. Is that camera fully automatic?
   No. You have to take the film to the chemist!
4. How do you make a small fortune in photography?
   Start with a large one.
5. What does a photographer say when he first gets to work?
   Would you like fries with that?
6. Most people start in photography by mimicking a 95 year old dead photographer.
7. My wife said if I took one more picture of her she’d leave me. That’s when I snapped.
8. Photo Editors are photographers who have no money for gear.
9. Painter: Took me one week to make this of that lake we visited.
   Photographer: You should have asked me. I had my camera with me.
10. How do you get a photographer to leave?
    Pay him for the Pizza Delivery.
11. If you saw a man drowning and you could either save him or photograph the event…what kind of film would you use?
12. Dinner at Friend’s house.
    Friend “Nice portrait. Thanks”
    Photographer “No problem. LEICA M typ 240, Leica APO-Summicron-M 50mm ASPH, F2.0 at 1/30secs.”
    Friend “Ah. Dinner was Earth Pan II Sandflow Nonstick, Mercer M33183 Hell’s 6″ x 3″ Spatula, 350°F at 15minutes.”
13. The quickest way to make money at photography is to sell your camera.
14. Photographers are weird. They spend all their life chasing light only to waste it in a darkroom.